Tagged: Learn how to survive thanksgiving

Nov 18

Learn How To Survive Thanksgiving With Your Family

How To Survive Thanksgiving With Your Family (courtesy of Howcast.com)

Forced feeding, intrusive questions, tipsy relatives, stuffing – it’s all part of Thanksgiving’s charm – if you know how to finesse it! You will need:

A relaxation strategy

A party rental company

Some little white lies

A hearty appetite

and Gratitude!

Optional: Miniature bottles of liquor and extra therapy sessions!

Step 1: Prepare yourself for the stress ahead by practicing deep breathing, meditating, or stocking up on mini bottles of booze that can be hidden in your clothes. If you’re seeing a therapist, now would be a good time to book an extra appointment or 2.

Step 2 – Before your mom can ask, are you seeing anyone? or your dad can demand, when are you gonna get a real job?, slyly hint at a potential romance/career advancement/Nobel Peace Prize nomination – then refuse to say another word lest you jinx it.

Step 3 – Give your hostess, especially if that hostess is you, the perfect gift. Rent dishes from a caterer! No more spending hours up to your elbows in turkey grease, while the men in the family act like dishwashing is tantamantic castration.

Step 4 – When it’s time to go around the table and state what you’re grateful for, have a sentimental spiel ready about the person at the table whom you like least. It will completely throw them off their game!

Step 5 – Go ahead and gorge yourself! Thought it is widely believed that people pack on 5 to 10 pounds during the holiday season, the truth is that the average person gains less than a pound!

Step 6 – When all is said and done, be grateful that you are healthy enough to be celebrating Thanksgiving, prosperous enough to have to worry about overeating, and lucky enough to have loved ones to share the day with! Did you know? Chardonnay is the perfect wine to pair with turkey; if you prefer red, make it a pinot noir and serve it slightly chilled.

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